What's on your mind

So after surviving below freezing temps and during a 6 hr hike what do you think about "Well here's the List"
1. Who did I piss off and I already answered my thoughts on that one
2. I will never go any where without my spot again! In my mind I wrote it on the chalk board a 100 times.
3. Should of had my emergency box in the car. I always included sleeping bags emergency blanket food and water, but you think of allot more things during a 6 hr hike, like flares a flare would of ended our freezing night when the searchers got close but couldn't see us because we were down in a gully. I bought those today. Some one told me of Sterno and a coffee can puts out alot of heat. an extra phone battery and I have one somewhere in case you come to a place with service and no battery. and now that I have my spot/gps extra batteries for that. They now make those hand warmers in feet and whole body size that last 9 to 18 hrs( bought about 6 each today) For someone who have been stuck overnight before and was quite prepared than I"m ashamed that I wasn't now. I made promises to myself that I would live my life better and wondered if he was looking out for me where was he. Mind you this was the canyon that he loved and wanted his ashes spread to he could overlook it. IF anyone has more ideas of what should go in an emergency box please share. Stay tune for Part 4 the rescue

The next morning part 2

It was around 8am before it was warm enough to take off, I figured we couldn't stand to get much colder at that point walking was rough at first it didn't feel like our legs were attached to us at all, than within a mile we were peeling off jackets. I never thought I would use the word too hot for anything. We push each other to continue on taking only brief stops to get the weight off our legs and stretch our backs. It was during one of these brief stops that we heard a car I could even see the sun shining of the grill. I told Carolynn the car it's right there we stood up and it was gone was this a mirage OMG where did it go, we started walking towards where it was hoping it was parked out of sight but I remembered a turn off up there somewhere and yes it had turn up a different canyon missing us entirely. Ok I must of pissed someone off, I started a thorough inventory of my life, I try to live my life right, and if Alan was watching over us why was he letting this happen to me, mind you this is the canyon that he wanted his ashes spread and I haven't been able to do that yet. Than it occurred to me 3 years ago after I spent the night in the woods unplanned the first time he bought me a Spot a satellite locator, I called it my leash and he really didn't like that at all, well last year the subscription expired and I never got it renewed. That morning I looked up how to renew it and saw this new spot with gps (check out my link) all those that hike or wonder alone should have one of these. Well I should of had it before going out that's for sure, along with blankets, flares etc. Maybe this was a nudge from him, well it was well over a nudge more like pushing me off a cliff, but we had been married 20 yrs. HE KNEW ME!! So I made all those promises people make if you get me out of this. Hey this was only a few hours into our walk, god knows what I was promising after the 4th and 5th hour and you will never find that out. It was so strange that we didn't see anyone, it was DEER season, where were the hunters? Actually I said where was the fu----- hunters. If I didn't know that we only had a few more miles before the main road I think I would of sat down and quit, Carolynne and I pushed each other more than before knowing we didn't want to spend another night in the cold. we were getting close to 6hrs of walking and didn't feel we could do much more..........part 3

Night in the Wild

Most of you already of heard, the computer in my jeep went out again this time far out in the mountains. It was a beautiful day sunny, a friend and mine set out to enjoy the beautiful Zuni Mountains, than around 230 pm the jeep quit running of course no cell service so we hike to a higher place where we finally was able to contact some people we needed help and than we lost service even after hiking higher up, Notified the hospital is they hadn't heard back from us by 6pm here was the GPS coordinates send someone to look for us. Around 5pm we headed back to the jeep to wait and wait and wait. The problem was that the jeep was in a gully and hard to see after it got dark we flashed our headlights off and on every 30 minutes, than at last headlights we honk we yelled and flashed our lights and the lights turned the other way. We settled in to the fact that we were there for the night and planned how we were going to stay warm we rearranged and rearranged the jeep trying to get comfortable. We found that moving around warmed us up. I knew the worse was yet to come around 4am which would be the coldest part of the night. Around 3pm we woke up shivering and than was the only time I thought we might not make it thourgh the night, knowing it would certainly get colder. I fell asleep again and dreams of hot showers and hot tubs next thing I knew it was 6am and still dark but knowing that the sun would soon be up, I knew we would make it. At 8am it was warm enough to start our hike out of the canyon and try to get to the main road. stay tune for part 2

This Winter Alone

It was 4 yrs ago this month that Alan and I had made the decision to move out to New Mexico. I remember walking around with that deer in the head light look. I was leaving my children, grandchildren, I had lived there for 18 yrs, working in the same place with lots of great friends.Deep inside New Mexico has always been my home it had won my heart long ago.

We wanted to enjoy the mountains that we always loved before we get to old to be able to do that, so we packed and went. That first winter was beautiful, they had more than normal snowfall, and we spent lots of time exploring the area knee deep in snow, we fought who was going to shovel the driveway first, we wondered at the fact that you could leave a bag of chips open for days and they still be crisp! We settled into our new jobs meeting new friends, and loved it.
I believe that somehow we know that our end is near and thank god for the last 3 1/2 years that we had our time together enjoying life here, we saw and did so much in the short time.

So now I'm facing the first winter alone without him, thinking about the fun we had playing in the snow, the annual Xmas tree hunt, the fun with the Jeep in the snow! I miss him so much, I love him with all my heart and now I have this empty hole. It hurts and I know people who say "he will always be there" Bullshit! He's not here, I can't hold him! I lost my best friend and lover and after 20 yrs we were still in love! I lost me, after your mate dies I believe you have to dig deep into yourself and pull out that other person that has always exsisted but have been hidden . Oh I know I will make it through this and somehow I'm able to push back the pain and have fun! So for this winter I have equipped myself with a new down jacket, snow boots etc and plan to get allot of use of my winch, the annual Xmas tree hunt will go on as before!
Thank god for some very good friends!